hollow hellos and poorly executed goodbyes

I've sunken far below the shoreline once or twice in my day

Tripped over many a raised up crack in the road

Just as I've stolen my fair share of the covers away

Left one too many with an exposed shoulder turned cold

And still some days it seems I'm back to square one

Mathematics has no life long passion for love

You either add or subject to the underlying sum

It seems no equals can exist once that first damage is done
 

This is that moment you can't catch your breath

Your time to speak with no bounds of the love you possess

But now it's here and the words are all caught in your chest

Final glimmer of light in the dimming of night
Lips last chance to align but you can't get it right

This is your poorly executed goodbye
 

I spent all night awake rehearsing just what I would say

Auditioning in the shower to water run cold

Collect my composer with a coffee and a notebook to hold

Leave no hands free to pull you near and never let go

For in that moment I am putty and your smile is two hands

I knew I would fall apart and lose all my form

Whatever I had scripted fell into your quicksand

You played my limbs like a puppet, I was yours to perform
 

This is that moment you can't catch your breath

Your time to speak with no bounds of the love you possess

But now it's here and the words are all caught in your chest

Final glimmer of light in the dimming of night
Lips last chance to align but you can't get it right

This is your poorly executed goodbye
 

In these moments love means more than saying we won't stray

But with distance these things become hard to uphold

This world is fields of mice and we are birds of prey

We take what we want with no apologies to bestow

I can't stop my abuse, without an outlet to feed

I thought it could be you, I thought it could be me

I've been taking so long and hiding behind empty words

It's only fitting to now lose what I don't truly deserve
 

This is that moment you can't catch your breath

Your time to speak with no bounds of the love you possess

But now it's here and the words are all caught in your chest

Final glimmer of light in the dimming of night
Lips last chance to align but you can't get it right

This is your poorly executed goodbye

blizzard of frozen rain

I'll deal with the snow when it falls. I have a garage full of shovels and I know all of them on nick name basis. I call one spade because she can't be trusted. I call another old rusty cause she's been around so long I can barely remember her real name. There's another I call hunger and another I call pain… I don't quite remember how they got their names but they both seem fitting on cold winter days. Most others I just call Jane because it's such a common, unappealing name. I use them all, but only one uses me back. She's my favorite, although I would never tell her that. The way she pushes when I pull, drags when I go to slow. It all drives me to the edge, but I wouldn't have it any other way. So fuck this warmth and bring on the winter so I can bring back the numbness… just me, my shovels and the frozen rain.

void pantograph

I strive to be clean but can't seem to stay fresh

This dead soap just barely covers the tell tale stench
Of what I no longer want to be

I was once told these chemicals can only harm

Make you forget you stink, forget you're a number greater than one

As the alcohol sinks in and changes you within

I look in the mirror, and all I see is void pantograph

There is a scent to a new shirt that is welcoming
No dead skin smell to keep me pondering my demise
Like a light bulb blown the flash only lives when i close my eyes
Taunting me to move in the dark
Based on memories of what I remember the room looked like
As I frantically feel for a wall to support my absent sight

I look in the mirror, and all I see is void pantograph

A string of paper folded endlessly
The same dead shape cut once, lives on repeatedly
Shared hands that connect until nothings left
You can sever the head but the snake will slither till the bodies dead
Swimming in its own blood, till someone pulls the plug
And drains the filthy tub

I look in the mirror, and all I see is void pantograph



uni-pen

As wings spread like fire and burn in desires name

The air grows tighter, sucked into shallow flames

No profit from the travel, this is no poor mans game

Only the paper plane that unravels shows any kind of gain

Fist clenched too tight, eyes too tired to see

Is it her face that's a blur, or the love she shows for me

Been down too long to have any kind of faith

To anything more alive than this coffin that I chase

As liquid light leaves salty parallel lines on burnt cheeks

Unaware of any moisture till I'm drowning in my own personal sea

I brought myself to this mountain, it was my idea to climb

But the higher this body gets, the less the mind knows why

This can only end badly, air too thin for two

Yet I'd still drag on asphyxiated, if I thought it was just me and you

Eventually the trail will weaken, inevitably the excess of feet will cause a slip
Personally trained myself not to get caught holding anymore weight than I can lift

Learned to love letting go, now it's hard to get any kind of grip

To anything more than this borrowed pen holstered to my hip

But still I ache for a link to connect this dirty chain

But I can never seem to shake the rust that keeps my heart shackled solo to this pain

knock, knock... who's there?

She was one mess of an insurgent, highly volatile detergent

A support beam in the wind who dreamed of getting bent

Easily destroyed by the weight of life

Singing with her finger tips to anyone who would hear her strife

Consistently confusing attention for attraction

A gold fish in a bag looking for distraction

But heavy came the weight of the fish bowl

Fuck your plastic pirate ship, this is not home

We all swim but some of us forget to sink

It's not a bad tidbit of knowledge to know how bad the toilet stinks

I'm not saying that defeat is the option

But sometimes you gotta knock if you want in

 

Knock, knock, knock...no ones home

Knock, knock, knock... no ones home, for you no more

  

Dirty come the deeds that we do dependently

Life ain't a fairy tale, this ain't serendipity

A forest planted too thick, how did we ever expect to see

Beyond the cluster that this paper makes for you and me

We could climb tall trees until there's no more sky

But could it ever be enough to satisfy dead eyes

Fire fuels the greed, fooled into lust

Why is it so easy to love, but so hard to trust

A rubber tire only stays round for so long

The road wears and tares until the true shape is gone

Sometimes no matter how hard a man tries not to fight

It ends with two crossed swords in the dead of night

 

Knock, knock, knock...no ones home

Knock, knock, knock... no ones home, for you no more

 

The light burned blue on her little pale face

Addicted to the heat, omitting with no trace

Never one to be static, toes not known to grace the same space

She stretched herself so thin she no longer had a waist

But needy girls are never satisfied with just one man

Ears perked up for the ring,  telephone glued in hand

Sending secret text messages to one then the other

An under cover lover under far too many covers

I guess you gotta learn to move quick before the guns inevitable bang

Every day has a number, every bullet a name

Insurance could have had your back if you had ever filed the claim

The mailman won this battle, the guard dogs been maimed

 

Knock, knock, knock...no ones home

Knock, knock, knock... no ones home, for you no more

the cutter

Fingers under knives
We cut just to change the print
Blackened nails hold deep to fault lines
Giving way to the chipped bone below
This is that situation in which you wouldn’t want to be left alone
Showing compassion like a mongoose to a snake
Server all social niceties and let instinct take hold
Once captivating colors lose all meaning
Favorite shade becomes the tone of the skin of the backside of your eyelids
Opened just to wipe the excess build up away
Letting tears form just to clean the narrow pathway
Not capable of feeling anything more than your empty breaths
Dulling all senses in that hollow chest
Like cripples in the sand, we just can’t seem to stand
As we slowly sink away

fog

Somewhere beyond this static

There is a tempo and it moves me

Hidden like a fairy tale melody

Sleeping soundly till its silence no longer soothes me

Looking back and forth to find nothing

But dirty distractions that haunt me

Because they want all of me, and I none of them

Caught in the eye of the storm and it won't blink

Dry as a dessert, nothing lives here

I implore nevermore that I want more

Learned long ago no one is listening

 

To these phone calls

To these text messages

To these love letters

Failure to communicate

 

These walls they hold me

So tight I can only dream of letting go

Something has to break

Watch this house of cards fail to stand firm and fall

Pain in the neck caused by watching

& waiting for an illuminated phone

I am a compass with no directional rose

Just another Pip waiting on Estella to come back home

And show a shine to the person lost so long ago

Maybe help me refresh my mind

And remind me of times without

 

All these phone calls

All these text messages

All these love letters

Failure to communicate

 

The floor creaks as I pace back and forth

Killing all my time till doing nothing is okay

Face permanently sour like a lemon licking a lime

Depression is never far away and reminds me everyday

A mind that is too stubborn to shut down and die

Creation my only distraction but the hearts not in it today

Art created just to create

Like a belly feed just to eat

I take the cattle out to slaughter

And feed the calf all the meat

But still I wait on

A phone call

A text message

A love letter

Failure to communicate