the whoracles abstinence

It scares me how easy it is to say a word like whore

As easy as it is to be, as easy as it is not to see

Confuse lust for love, charity for company

To be invited for the night and stay for eternity 

We give up a piece of ourselves every time we lay

Is this next one really worth giving up what we have so little left of to give

I'm no different, this is no childish finger pointing, it's a gentlemanly handshake

Something to bind us like a pact to not keep making the same mistakes

Like all these loneliness based decisions that bring us here time and time again

Like falling backwards into the arms of friends for who're not truly your friends

But I understand it's hard to see clearly when their song sounds so comforting from above

Bellowing from clouds seated for gods you long so much to sit among

But those welcome and open arms can't always be trusted

As some just tempt those lost from the path with inebriated hugs

A warm bed to rest their tired and lonely head

Watch a three headed beast make love like that of two

And spit out that extra wheel as soon as the fog has lifted through

Leaving the one even more alone, with even less to give

No thoughts do they give for the one, just feeding a habit with a living drug

But me, I'm not better, I strive on what I can't have

Only to obtain and lose interest

Like a child scared to grow into a man

But yet the wisdom teeth still grow

These hairs they fall and what stays shall grey

As I still pretend time has no hold on me

And lie to myself that it's not too late to change

But it becomes harder to ignore with every rising sun

These eyes may be tired but gain more clarity with every passing day I run from

This is where the obsessions come in

 Bury myself inside a living tomb surrounded by my possessions

Things only obsessed over in an endless effort to rid myself

Of the feelings I can't seem to keep housed or at bay

And on the days when my eyes can't close tight enough to block out that sun

On the days when the smell of female skin is enough to make me come undone

Those are the days I fall apart

My strength abandons me and I'm left to fight for my own meal

In a forest I know nothing of

I find the spots I vaguely remember from dreams

I look for bones in the dirt around familiar trees

I change with the moon and awake an empty, sorrowful man 

Knowing in my heart, I've killed again