Wednesday, November 28, 2012

the whoracles abstinence

It scares me how easy it is to say a word like whore
As easy as it is to be, as easy as it is not to see
Confuse lust for love, charity for company
To be invited for the night and stay for eternity 
We give up a piece of ourselves every time we lay
Is this next one really worth giving up what we have so little left of to give
I'm no different, this is no childish finger pointing, it's a gentlemanly handshake
Something to bind us like a pact to not keep making the same mistakes
Like all these loneliness based decisions that bring us here time and time again
Like falling backwards into the arms of friends for who're not truly your friends
But I understand it's hard to see clearly when their song sounds so comforting from above
Bellowing from clouds seated for gods you long so much to sit among
But those welcome and open arms can't always be trusted
As some just tempt those lost from the path with inebriated hugs
A warm bed to rest their tired and lonely head
Watch a three headed beast make love like that of two
And spit out that extra wheel as soon as the fog has lifted through
Leaving the one even more alone, with even less to give
No thoughts do they give for the one, just feeding a habit with a living drug
But me, I'm not better, I strive on what I can't have
Only to obtain and lose interest
Like a child scared to grow into a man
But yet the wisdom teeth still grow
These hairs they fall and what stays shall grey
As I still pretend time has no hold on me
And lie to myself that it's not too late to change
But it becomes harder to ignore with every rising sun
These eyes may be tired but gain more clarity with every passing day I run from
This is where the obsessions come in
 Bury myself inside a living tomb surrounded by my possessions
Things only obsessed over in an endless effort to rid myself
Of the feelings I can't seem to keep housed or at bay
And on the days when my eyes can't close tight enough to block out that sun
On the days when the smell of female skin is enough to make me come undone
Those are the days I fall apart
My strength abandons me and I'm left to fight for my own meal
In a forest I know nothing of
I find the spots I vaguely remember from dreams
I look for bones in the dirt around familiar trees
I change with the moon and awake an empty, sorrowful man 
Knowing in my heart, I've killed again

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