Thursday, August 8, 2013

hollow hellos and poorly executed goodbyes

I've sunken far below the shoreline once or twice in my day
Tripped over many a raised up crack in the road
Just as I've stolen my fair share of the covers away
Left one too many with an exposed shoulder turned cold
And still some days it seems I'm back to square one
Mathematics has no life long passion for love
You either add or subject to the underlying sum
It seems no equals can exist once that first damage is done
 
This is that moment you can't catch your breath
Your time to speak with no bounds of the love you possess
But now it's here and the words are all caught in your chest
Final glimmer of light in the dimming of night
Lips last chance to align but you can't get it right
This is your poorly executed goodbye
 
I spent all night awake rehearsing just what I would say
Auditioning in the shower to water run cold
Collect my composer with a coffee and a notebook to hold
Leave no hands free to pull you near and never let go
For in that moment I am putty and your smile is two hands
I knew I would fall apart and lose all my form
Whatever I had scripted fell into your quicksand
You played my limbs like a puppet, I was yours to perform
 
This is that moment you can't catch your breath
Your time to speak with no bounds of the love you possess
But now it's here and the words are all caught in your chest
Final glimmer of light in the dimming of night
Lips last chance to align but you can't get it right
This is your poorly executed goodbye
 
In these moments love means more than saying we won't stray
But with distance these things become hard to uphold
This world is fields of mice and we are birds of prey
We take what we want with no apologies to bestow
I can't stop my abuse, without an outlet to feed
I thought it could be you, I thought it could be me
I've been taking so long and hiding behind empty words
It's only fitting to now lose what I don't truly deserve
 
This is that moment you can't catch your breath
Your time to speak with no bounds of the love you possess
But now it's here and the words are all caught in your chest
Final glimmer of light in the dimming of night
Lips last chance to align but you can't get it right
This is your poorly executed goodbye

Thursday, August 1, 2013

blizzard of frozen rain

I'll deal with the snow when it falls. I have a garage full of shovels and I know all of them on nick name basis. I call one spade because she can't be trusted. I call another old rusty cause she's been around so long I can barely remember her real name. There's another I call hunger and another I call pain… I don't quite remember how they got their names but they both seem fitting on cold winter days. Most others I just call Jane because it's such a common, unappealing name. I use them all, but only one uses me back. She's my favorite, although I would never tell her that. The way she pushes when I pull, drags when I go to slow. It all drives me to the edge, but I wouldn't have it any other way. So fuck this warmth and bring on the winter so I can bring back the numbness… just me, my shovels and the frozen rain.

void pantograph

I strive to be clean but can't seem to stay fresh
This dead soap just barely covers the tell tale stench
Of what I no longer want to be
I was once told these chemicals can only harm
Make you forget you stink, forget you're a number greater than one
As the alcohol sinks in and changes you within

I look in the mirror, and all I see is void pantograph

There is a scent to a new shirt that is welcoming
No dead skin smell to keep me pondering my demise
Like a light bulb blown the flash only lives when i close my eyes
Taunting me to move in the dark
Based on memories of what I remember the room looked like
As I frantically feel for a wall to support my absent sight

I look in the mirror, and all I see is void pantograph

A string of paper folded endlessly
The same dead shape cut once, lives on repeatedly
Shared hands that connect until nothings left
You can sever the head but the snake will slither till the bodies dead
Swimming in its own blood, till someone pulls the plug
And drains the filthy tub

I look in the mirror, and all I see is void pantograph


Wednesday, July 24, 2013

uni-pen

As wings spread like fire and burn in desires name
The air grows tighter, sucked into shallow flames
No profit from the travel, this is no poor mans game
Only the paper plane that unravels shows any kind of gain
Fist clenched too tight, eyes too tired to see
Is it her face that's a blur, or the love she shows for me
Been down too long to have any kind of faith
To anything more alive than this coffin that I chase
As liquid light leaves salty parallel lines on burnt cheeks
Unaware of any moisture till I'm drowning in my own personal sea
I brought myself to this mountain, it was my idea to climb
But the higher this body gets, the less the mind knows why
This can only end badly, air too thin for two
Yet I'd still drag on asphyxiated, if I thought it was just me and you
Eventually the trail will weaken, inevitably the excess of feet will cause a slip
Personally trained myself not to get caught holding anymore weight than I can lift
Learned to love letting go, now it's hard to get any kind of grip
To anything more than this borrowed pen holstered to my hip
But still I ache for a link to connect this dirty chain
But I can never seem to shake the rust that keeps my heart shackled solo to this pain

Saturday, July 20, 2013

knock, knock... who's there?

She was one mess of an insurgent, highly volatile detergent
A support beam in the wind who dreamed of getting bent
Easily destroyed by the weight of life
Singing with her finger tips to anyone who would hear her strife
Consistently confusing attention for attraction
A gold fish in a bag looking for distraction
But heavy came the weight of the fish bowl
Fuck your plastic pirate ship, this is not home
We all swim but some of us forget to sink
It's not a bad tidbit of knowledge to know how bad the toilet stinks
I'm not saying that defeat is the option
But sometimes you gotta knock if you want in
 
Knock, knock, knock...no ones home
Knock, knock, knock... no ones home, for you no more
  
Dirty come the deeds that we do dependently
Life ain't a fairy tale, this ain't serendipity
A forest planted too thick, how did we ever expect to see
Beyond the cluster that this paper makes for you and me
We could climb tall trees until there's no more sky
But could it ever be enough to satisfy dead eyes
Fire fuels the greed, fooled into lust
Why is it so easy to love, but so hard to trust
A rubber tire only stays round for so long
The road wears and tares until the true shape is gone
Sometimes no matter how hard a man tries not to fight
It ends with two crossed swords in the dead of night
 
Knock, knock, knock...no ones home
Knock, knock, knock... no ones home, for you no more
 
The light burned blue on her little pale face
Addicted to the heat, omitting with no trace
Never one to be static, toes not known to grace the same space
She stretched herself so thin she no longer had a waist
But needy girls are never satisfied with just one man
Ears perked up for the ring,  telephone glued in hand
Sending secret text messages to one then the other
An under cover lover under far too many covers
I guess you gotta learn to move quick before the guns inevitable bang
Every day has a number, every bullet a name
Insurance could have had your back if you had ever filed the claim
The mailman won this battle, the guard dogs been maimed
 
Knock, knock, knock...no ones home
Knock, knock, knock... no ones home, for you no more

Friday, July 5, 2013

the cutter

Fingers under knives
We cut just to change the print
Blackened nails hold deep to fault lines
Giving way to the chipped bone below
This is that situation in which you wouldn’t want to be left alone
Showing compassion like a mongoose to a snake
Server all social niceties and let instinct take hold
Once captivating colors lose all meaning
Favorite shade becomes the tone of the skin of the backside of your eyelids
Opened just to wipe the excess build up away
Letting tears form just to clean the narrow pathway
Not capable of feeling anything more than your empty breaths
Dulling all senses in that hollow chest
Like cripples in the sand, we just can’t seem to stand
As we slowly sink away

Saturday, May 25, 2013

fog

Somewhere beyond this static
There is a tempo and it moves me
Hidden like a fairy tale melody
Sleeping soundly till its silence no longer soothes me
Looking back and forth to find nothing
But dirty distractions that haunt me
Because they want all of me, and I none of them
Caught in the eye of the storm and it won't blink
Dry as a dessert, nothing lives here
I implore nevermore that I want more
Learned long ago no one is listening
 
To these phone calls
To these text messages
To these love letters
Failure to communicate
 
These walls they hold me
So tight I can only dream of letting go
Something has to break
Watch this house of cards fail to stand firm and fall
Pain in the neck caused by watching
& waiting for an illuminated phone
I am a compass with no directional rose
Just another Pip waiting on Estella to come back home
And show a shine to the person lost so long ago
Maybe help me refresh my mind
And remind me of times without
 
All these phone calls
All these text messages
All these love letters
Failure to communicate
 
The floor creaks as I pace back and forth
Killing all my time till doing nothing is okay
Face permanently sour like a lemon licking a lime
Depression is never far away and reminds me everyday
A mind that is too stubborn to shut down and die
Creation my only distraction but the hearts not in it today
Art created just to create
Like a belly feed just to eat
I take the cattle out to slaughter
And feed the calf all the meat
But still I wait on

A phone call
A text message
A love letter
Failure to communicate