let the miners weep

If every verse starts with she or he,
I might as well pick up the phone and save my wrists the pain

It’s not that I don’t have the words inside,
but with this lack of perseverance they won’t come to life

Only the animal of lust escapes,
turning my poems into analogies for sexual games

Never to show the softer side I hide,
the one that gets lonely at night when the stars won’t shine

Yellow canary in a cave so black, she took the gas into her lungs, she ain’t coming back

Yellow canary in a cage so small, she put her life upon the line, yeah she gave her all

Yellow canary in a calm of night, she flew away into the silence, well out of sight

Yellow canary in a coma sleep, she’s down and out for the count, let the miners weep

This world is full of bangs and neon lights,
making the darkness more elusive than a pig in flight

Trying to jump start our hearts in the dark,
we use two black cords never see a spark

So here we sit on an abandoned road,
a misplaced detour took us way off course

In a silent ghost town no ones coming back,
only killers stayed behind to harvest bones for lamps

Yellow canary in a cave so black, she took the gas into her lungs, she ain’t coming back

Yellow canary in a cage so small, she put her life upon the line, yeah she gave her all

Yellow canary in a calm of night, she flew away into the silence well out of sight

Yellow canary in a coma sleep, she’s down and out for the count, let the miners weep

Biting my lips as my fingers move with ease,
a technicality that stings like angry bees
And as I light that fuse I know before it’s sent,

these atomic love letters won’t make a dent

We’re just machines counting bricks upon the wall,
waiting for the mortar to retire us all

We’re just machines rotating pictures and sounds,
waiting for the curtain call so we can fall

Yellow canary in a cave so black, she took the gas into her lungs, she ain’t coming back

Yellow canary in a cage so small, she put her life upon the line, yeah she gave her all

Yellow canary in a calm of night, she flew away into the silence well out of sight

Yellow canary in a coma sleep, she’s down and out for the count, let the miners weep

holy water

Bottled empty space, the liquid only waits

For lips to kiss the taste, reveal the chase

Too scared of noises bodies make

When alone they only stand to break

In search of soiled earth to shake, and fall in place

We all taste the same, like holy water

We all look the same, like holy water

We all shine the same, like holy water

We all burn the same, like holy water

Fingers pricked to feed, give life new seeds

You can give but do not take, you're a past mistake

When the future washes bodies clean

The engines purr, the cogs they heave

In a machine that can't break, no parts to replace

We all taste the same, like holy water

We all look the same, like holy water

We all shine the same, like holy water

We all burn the same, like holy water

With hands that can't see, we dot our eyes

Make crosses of our stick figure t's, evil get behind

With a mind too scared to lose control

We clench fists tight and won't let go

With a toothless face, we smile wide

We all taste the same, like holy water

We all look the same, like holy water

We all shine the same, like holy water

We all burn the same, like holy water

sinking or shrinking

She said goodbye and put a pad-lock on the door

Swallowed the key just to be extra sure

But then fear stepped in, poured water on the floor

Now there’s a river between two oceanic hearts that live as shores

And she’s been paddling herself back and forth

In a boat safe for one and no more

And every time she lifts her oars, she creates tidal bores 

As her boat sinks slowly, forever lost offshore

It’s not the transport that is sinking

The destination is just shrinking

He drove away and down shifted his pain

Removed all maps from a glove box with no fingers to count his claims

Let them fade from his memory, rip holes in her frame

Erase all existence of previous travels like a father with no son to bare his name

But with no maps to guide him, all those dark roads looked the same

And that town he found felt welcome, but wasn’t found without aim

Littered with faces of retired actors using alias stage names

He’s been home all along with only himself to blame

It’s not the transport that is sinking

The destination is just shrinking

In the morning neither one of our victims learned a thing

Both held captive by their own stubbornness and refusal to change

Still chasing phantom ghosts, finding only emptiness and turning self estranged

Lining up lovers like coke cans in an open heartless firing range

And as the bodies pile high, so rises the odor of their fame

Angry townsfolk grow tired of their antics, bring torches to set flames

To these monsters that only take, and give back nothing but pain

Both too blind to see it’s the fear of losing love again that has made them this way

It’s not the transport that is sinking

The destination is just shrinking

complementary colors

The colors bleed and we run to hold true

Standing by lines, drawn only to keep us inside

But still colors bleed and erase our truth

Scared of what we’ll bleed into

In my reality I give no more than I have to give

At any moment I could give you all

But no sense in speaking of tomorrow and yesterday is gone

The only shadow I follow is the one that sets at dawn

Sailing this ship in search of an invisible dock to crash upon

Letting time dissolve as I try to lap the sun

The colors bleed and we run to hold true

Standing by lines, drawn only to keep us inside

But still colors bleed and erase our truth

Scared of what we’ll bleed into

These hands they hold more than they need

Lost in the paths in the palms

Hoping for a grip to appease these restless bones

Something to mold into as opposed to just hold

Only to let go when the veins begin to show

Scared the numbness will engulf me and my soul

The colors bleed and we run to hold true

Standing by lines, drawn only to keep us inside

But still colors bleed and erase our truth

Scared of what we’ll bleed into

My silent words are more than what they may seem to be

They are my company in this stagnant cold, my warm memories

The thought of warm skin, soft lips, keeps me enchanted like a kite in the wind

Giving into a sick mind, in dark times, black out the sun and live within

And dance silent under my control in a world I manipulate

Where opposing colors can never meet to create grey

The colors bleed and we run to hold true

Standing by lines, drawn only to keep us inside

But still colors bleed and erase our truth

Scared of what we’ll bleed into

you ruin love for everyone

Why must my cruel words be said?

You spread your love too soon, now we’re dead too soon

You’ve forced me into this hate

Turned my love into a parachute to catch you

I never wanted to lose you, tried my best to abstain

But I can’t take much more, your resentment kills me

To think you feel the same pain and ignore your heart in vain

This fake person I did not foresee

Next time you feel the need to put words to my name

And tell me you still love the same

Fast forward till tomorrow, when you take it away

And I’m left alone to fill the holes you made

Your pain hits me like a gun

You give and take, all for one

Your lies hit me like a gun

You ruin love, for everyone

I have a sick need to please you

You’ve always known this, you seem happy to still control this

But after all the thread I’ve seen you twine

I now know you were never mine, no you live inside

You say you long for a simple love

But is there anyone to match what you dream of

You say your happy now, but you still call

You say he treats you great, but the tears still fall

I no longer know who you are at all

I feel you’re just latching on as the hearts sprawl

And as much as it pains me to put up this wall

I’m done watching you crawl

Your pain hits me like a gun

You give and take, all for one

Your lies hit me like a gun

You ruin love, for everyone

I can’t repeat enough how I never wanted it this way

Deep down I actually thought things could change

And why not, considering the things you say

But now I realize you just say these things to be heard saying them

You want everyone to love you

Your lips to never turn cold, no heart to shun you

To scared to end this game you’ve made

To let our love become what it was, a waste

And in the end it was you who made it this way

I would have done anything for you, to keep the clouds away

But now I’m gone and you’re dead to me

No different than the way you’ve been treating me

Your pain hits me like a gun

You give and take, all for one

Your lies hit me like a gun

You ruin love, for everyone

open sea

With a tip from the bottom
A quick change to the clouds
Only conversations of weather
Can storm between us now
Two hearts, born strangers
Too used and torn apart
We had our time to shine
Now it’s time to unwind

As I sail on this sea
Lost in what I can’t see
It’s the waves that comfort me

Too far gone to make her smile
Pain is all she holds for me
When actions come too late
It’s only fate that helps you see
With my heart wide open
I try to mend our past wounds
But the love she had is gone
And in its place now lives gloom

As I sail on this sea
Lost in what I can’t see
It’s the waves that comfort me

I know this song won’t mean a thing
I know my words will fall short
They just had to be said
Relieve some pressure from my head
I’ll still fight, I’ll still bother
My awkward ways won’t change
It’s just the side effect
Of all my love for you left in me

As I sail on this sea
Lost in what I can’t see
It’s the waves that comfort me

Our love it lives on in me
Even if yours is gone
I replay it every night
I put a dance to the song
So from my top, to my bottom
You can tear my heart down
Our past is yours to be forgotten
But it’s mine to be found

As I sail on this sea
Lost in what I can’t see
It’s the waves that comfort me

cigarettes & coffey

Cigarettes and coffey, once upon a time

I loved em both, yeah they were my valentines

Such a warm embrace to die for something you love

All those heart attacks, they sure taught me

You can’t live to die young knowingly

We all pave the paths we chose once the potholes show

In the wee hours, I miss the taste

Of life’s habits I’m too weak to chase

And miss the midnight kiss of paths unknown

In the wee hours I miss the face

Of life’s habits I’m too weak to face

And miss the warm embrace of a path unknown

All the stop signs, they sure stopped me

Put in place to keep us safe

But oh how I so long for the wrong side of the road

With the windows down and the volume up

No guard rails to segregate our touch

Just the smell of warm tires and uninhibited love

In the wee hours, I miss the taste

Of life’s habits I’m too weak to chase

And miss the midnight kiss of paths unknown

In the wee hours I miss the face

Of life’s habits I’m too weak to face

And miss the warm embrace of a path unknown

In the morning’s eyes, I don’t look the same

She’s moved on and forgot the name

She was my happy habit; I was her part time man

Dragging me down, just to put me up

We had our fun, but I had to give her up

But after all the doctors warnings I still hear her name

In the wee hours, I miss the taste

Of life’s habits I’m too weak to chase

And miss the midnight kiss of paths unknown

In the wee hours I miss the face

Of life’s habits I’m too weak to face

And miss the warm embrace of a path unknown

make pretend

The memories are still clear

We still love in my mind

A past that refuses to be forgotten

To think of you when she is near

There is no excuse to make it right

I only know I’ll get no sleep tonight

So I lay here and fear, the best parts of me are gone

And pretend to move on

Yeah I lay here and fear, I’ll always be singing her song

As I pretend to move on

These eyes need help to see

Even in sunlight they lose time

But no darkness can mask her outline

To live with the sight, become defined by the fight

What do you hold on for

When you’ve forgotten why you hold on

So I lay here and fear, the best parts of me are gone

And pretend to move on

Yeah I lay here and fear, I’ll always be singing her song

As I pretend to move on

The phone lines can go dead

It can’t stop the dreams

Is it still cheating if your eyes are closed

Counting down till the next roll over

A blinking clock is what you crave

Anything to take the deadline away

So I lay here and fear, the best parts of me are gone

And pretend to move on

Yeah I lay here and fear, I’ll always be singing her song

As I pretend to move on

living dead

I’ve gone and put my dirt on the line

So many times my coffin is bare

You see the etching in the grain

My graves exposed for all to spit upon and shame

I’m dead and done with arrogance

Willing to admit I want something more then this

As you so selfishly tempt me to live again

Only to attempt crawling out and fall back in

We are the living dead

I’m trying to make us breathe again

We are the living dead

But all you can say is try again

I’ve had some visitors to my grave

The pink roses kept me from going zombie

But the connection just isn’t the same

Hard to push blame when I’m dead and rotting

The pieces fit but always fall off

In the end I’m left missing myself and with a bigger want

To breathe again and smell the grass

That now covers our unkempt path

We are the living dead

I’m trying to make us breathe again

We are the living dead

But all you can say is try again

I’m sick of trying to climb out

It’s getting me no where quick

When every time you extend your hand

I reach out to you, just to find it slip

Your retraction is nothing new to me

In fact it’s slowly helping me see

It’s time for me to roll in my grave

And find someone to dig with me

We are the living dead

I’m trying to make us breathe again

We are the living dead

But all you can say is try again

till the night fades away

Yours is such a tender heart

So easily ripped apart

Doomed from the start

To lose your way

We’re heating up the charts

Glowing in the darkest of darks

In the lifespan of any star

There lives the fade away

I’ll be your nightlight, baby

Use me to guide your way

Yeah I’m your nightlight, baby

Till the night fades away

You’re looking lonely, dear

You need a mask for the fear

Maybe an open ear

To hear your pain

I’ll always be here

Too far is not enough, my dear

I’ll make the darkness clear

And chase the rain

I’ll be your nightlight, baby

Use me to guide your way

Yeah I’m your nightlight, baby

Till the night fades away

You want me here to stay

But no one’s willing to change

Too much time in the day

To give away

Maybe we would pay

Or maybe we would find our way

Our own Independence Day

Neon dancing to a cabaret

I’ll be your nightlight, baby

Use me to guide your way

Yeah I’m your nightlight, baby

Till the night fades away

keep it short

Oh how I love those little emails, it’s so tempting

I have so much to say, but no I’ll keep it short

Cause after all I am a whore for the attention

And if I want to play this game I have to keep it short

You must know what you’re doing, you can’t be that blind

You’ve lived long enough and hard enough to know this isn’t right

To still contact me even if it isn’t over a want for me

I just don’t understand it, maybe I’m the one not seeing things right

Anyone else in your shoes would sever all ties

Delete the phone number, email and forget the website

How else are you supposed to start a new life with your new guy

It makes me wonder if you did the same thing to me in my time

With all the guys that came before me and my time

But oh well, why should I care now, it’s no longer my time to shine

I’m now just the fly in the ointment, infecting with flight

And for some unknown reason you keep putting time aside to write

To a love you walked out on like you were just saying goodnight

Not even a Dear John note to say goodbye and burn for spite

No you just left for work never again to be seen by my eyes

“Have a nice day, baby. I love you”

Those last words I kissed off your lips and still fight

I hear them laugh in my face when I go to lay my head at night

Three little words I can’t block out because they’re just too bright

But I admit it was our time for execution

I treated you like dirt and gave no promises or solutions

Never even tried to fix the problems or make decisions

Just expected you to stay after countless break ups for no good reasons

Fourth time was the charm, LA gave that final break

Flew back home cold and alone wondering if things would be the same

But the song had been sung, and with my return came a change

I knew deep down in my heart I’d killed our flame

And that what I found inside had come too late and would be a waste

And in those last few weeks feelings started to uncover

That took you leaving so abruptly for me to discover

Buried under all my selfishness and greed

Lays a person who truly wants nothing more then to be

A part of a love that isn’t forced and feels complete

And the truth is you gave all of that to me

I was just to busy chasing ghosts to clearly see

So now you’re just another ghost haunting me

And I’m the guy you text when your boyfriend’s being mean

How funny and ironic that guy used to be me

Just makes me wonder what the guy before me

Thought about the texts to sent to him about me

And when he asked you to come over did you say maybe

Or say I wish I could be he is here with me

Or sneak off to act out your revenge on me

The part the eats at me is I wouldn’t believe you now either way

The way you ended things has left you and your actions a stranger to me

And I’m not sure if I’ll every trust another word you say

But still my love for you won’t let me walk any further away

And I’m not prepared to be that guy, but I’m falling in

Erased all your info to keep from stalking you

But when you text and email I can’t help but respond to all of them

It’s just so hard to turn that love off, when I feel I could still win

It’s not a game if only one person is playing

A love that wasn’t forced is hard to reject, again and again

It’s hard to say no to a girl I actually loved as a friend

As I pretend I don’t still think about you, with every day rise and day end

Always trying to keep it short, waiting for the next game to begin

creepy

Chasing the hour glass nightly, I slam it till it’s gone

Wonder silently am I the only one wound this tightly

Eventually I gotta give, stop this dreaming, start to live

This battle ax is starting to make its mark

Leaving me blind as a deaf bat wearing ear muffs

No longer seeing straight, can’t seem to relate

Going out in public awkward, too creepy to get a date

It’s like the only thing that gets me past these crowds is booze

And then it seems I’m just acting loud and rude

But I really can’t complain, it’s worked damn well in the past

I’ve found the best loves of my life being a drunken ass

But I’m getting too old to still be acting like I have no class

I want that part of me dead, his life to pass

And no I’m not trying to hate, yeah those days were a blast

I’m just ready to grow and stop relying on an empty glass

I wanna meet a pretty girl dead sober

And still have the courage to ask if she’d like to come over

Lie like spoons and watch horror movies on my sofa

I’m not trying to rule your world; I just wanna get to know ya

These are the visions that now make me weak in my knees

Wanting to be part of a love that won’t break apart on me

Finding some love for myself inside this empty cart

So maybe things won’t always end with two broken hearts

And maybe it’s needy that I’m now so fixated on love

Like it’s a drug I use to erase the hold of old gloves

But it is and always was; yeah that is nothing new for me

It’s always been my only enjoyable reason for being

So till then I’ll lie in bed and pretend I’m sleeping

When actually I’m tossing and turning while day dreaming

Of my next dose of female attention, my favorite drug

The only side effect is I have a hard time falling out of love

prison planet

We hide together from each other

In this prison we’ve made

Wrapped in hiding love from a lover

Such a hollow game to play

And in this darkness that we lay

We forget to give and only take

So wrapped up in lying to each other

The truth slips away

Lying captive, sinking away

A taste like poison soon takes over

Just to numb the pain

From words that cut on the way out

Almost to sharp to say

Leaving ears that fear and hear them

No longer willing to be near them

Words that should be silenced

Will find their way to solace

Lying captive, sinking away

To this wall we have been chained

No windows will change a thing

The sights we see through them

Will only push us further away

Looking for pillows to grace gentle

As we’re released to live separately

Free to start a new life

If we can just walk away

Lying captive, sinking away

nights crush like stone

Is it the taste I miss or just having it anytime I wish

If we could love the same would I even still want it

The longing is all I see, it sucks me in, overwhelming me

To be alones ok, until it’s night, then the silence destroys me

To have and learn to hold, is the worst thing I’ve known

No once the sheets have gone cold, nights crush like stone

So now I sit alone and watch girls slowly walk away

While I imagine what they hide, if they could somehow love the same

As the girls I’m trying not to find, forgetting all their names

To me this game has become tiresome, I no longer want to play

To have and learn to hold, is the worst thing I’ve known

No once the sheets have gone cold, nights crush like stone

If I can’t come to grips it’s over, no reason to quit

Pushing for something that will never come, moon chasing the sun

Maybe once scars have healed, I will find that missing piece

And I will know just who I miss at night, sleeping next to me

To have and learn to hold, is the worst thing I’ve known

No once the sheets have gone cold, nights crush like stone

fight club

Let's get into a fight tonight for no other reason than to make up and make love. Let's get into a fight to expand our vocabularies. Let's get into a fight just to see whose voice is louder. Let's get into a fight just to see who loves more… who loves less. Let's get into a fight so I can make you breakfast in bed, while you read the Sunday ads and bandage scraps on my back and nurse the new found bruises on your head. Let's get in a fight so I can say I love you and mean it. Let's get into a fight so I can say I hate you and mean it. Lets get into a fight so the next time we fight; we'll know what not to say. Lets get into a fight because love is not one sided and I fear if we don't things will never stay this way. Let's get into a fight so our kiss can taste like blood, not from the biting of our own tongues before that sweet kiss, but from the biting of each others tongues as we share that sweet kiss. Let's get into a fight so we never have to bite our own tongues again, no more swallowing blood, no more swallowing the words that are not said. Let's get into a fight so I can say I've seen all of you and so you can say the same for me, because you never know, we may not like the people we meet. Let's get into a fight so we can see if we kiss better mad, taste better sad. Let's get into a fight so I can give you a purple check, not the one you show in public, but the one you hide for only me to see. Let's get into a fight so I can tell you once and for all that I hate all of your favorite songs, and then show you how much you mean to me by letting you play them all night long. Let's get into a fight so I can have the inspiration to write one more story, one more poem, and one more song. So you can have your reason to go shopping without me, not answer any of my calls, and not come home till all of our money is gone. Let's get into a fight because the glass is half full, full of reasons to never let go, full of feelings we need to show. Let's get into a fight because tears mean you care… and just between me and me I find it sexy as fuck when you care. Let's get into a fight tonight and not stop until we are dead, make a murder/suicide packed that the only way we will leave this world will be by loving each other to death. Let's get into a fight for no other reason then to remind ourselves the other is still there. Let's get into a fight because we're all animals and I'm sick of hiding my claws and pretending I'm not scared that one day I'll die and you won't be around to care. Let's get into a fight because nothing lasts forever and I don't want to leave another word unsaid. Let's get into a fight because we're not built for silence and should be making noise instead.

eye2eye

A curious mouse once had a notion to dine on blood, leave the cheese for grilled sandwiches and the crumbs for the birds. Unfortunately, she found herself stumped at where to begin. What type of prey may she catch with no delay? For, although this idea was the first of its kind, it seems she craved it all along, but had never been any wiser of it than at this very moment. As she pondered her time she slipped her way into the shadows pacing with no track of the pace she paced. So unaware of where she lie she stepped into a web of some kind and the plan for prey was now clearer than day. She would feed on the spider, an easy enough prey, small enough to not put up a fight, but big enough to satisfy her cravings in every way. So she waited in the dark, anticipating the return of her meal on eight legs, when along came the fly, to busy to notice the death web that was laid. No sooner did the fly become one with the web, than the spider peaked out his curious head to see what lay on his plate today. Unaware he was the second course, and his meal was another's bait, he pursued with no delay to take down his prey. But as he took his last bite the mood seemed to change. A shadow was cast and a warm breeze now seemed to ride up his hind, and the mouse, now close enough to smell the blood of her bait, attacked with no hesitation. But the spider saw the shadow, felt the breath, and quickly countered the attack, biting the mouse with two pierced fangs, leaving two blood red dots were once was skin, and the smell of venom now lingered in the air. Not counting on this the mouse jumped back in pain, realizing the poison would surly kill she dammed herself and the spider for her careless ways. But in one last attempt to have her life ending craving, she dove and bit off all eight of the spider's legs. Now lifeless, drowning in poison and pain, they laid eye to eye able to see into and past the sight of one another, able to see the others life, love and dreams. And they realized they are one in the same, they have both just met and killed the only creature on their earth that could have truly loved them. Maybe not a perfect match, one being a mouse and the other a spider, but still, none the less a perfect match of the heart, mind and soul. So now they stared eye to eye, able to give no more than a paralyzed, glazed over thought. They both now truly know that out of life, they only got one wish they truly wanted. To die with the one, whose soul they once kissed, eye to eye.

monster maker

I built that face with my own two hands

So if you’re gonna start making faces you better think again

Sharpened the knife, carved down the bone

You can dance all you want but you have no soul

I put tension to the skies above

Caught electricity for the blood to pump

So remember next time you take a breath

It was me that put the lungs into your chest

Yeah I’m the monster maker, you’re just the monster

If I’m the artist in this, you’re just the paint

Yeah I’m the monster maker, you’re just the monster

So get down on your knees, and live for me

You think you’re free but you can’t escape

I put the spark into your eyes now it’s mine to take

You’re just a freak of humanity

I was wrong to play God now all must pay

Do not run, do not turn away

You don’t belong in this world it’s plain to see

Don’t make this hard, you won’t feel a thing

I brought you into this world, I can take you away

Yeah I’m the monster maker, you’re just the monster

If I’m the artist in this, you’re just the paint

Yeah I’m the monster maker, you’re just the monster

So get down on your knees, and prey to me

You think you’re making me pay, but it’s too late

It’s now our destiny to live in this chase

You think you can take everything away, but it’s too late

If you live, I live; your life is my mistake

You think you can make me see, but it’s too late

It only took one breath for me to see this fate

You think you’ve taken everything away, but it’s too late

I will not lie in the dirt; no I will not die,

until I’ve killed what I’ve worked my whole life to create

Yeah I’m the monster maker, you’re just the monster

If I’m the artist in this, you’re just the paint

Yeah I’m the monster maker, you’re just the monster

So get down on your knees, and die for me

pilot p-500

The pen has been drinking; he lives above a neon sign

There’s no other reservoir for the ink to stumble home to, he always finds his way home, even half blind

The ink finds its way to the sores, like make up falling into the pores

Shows why we’re staying up late, what sentences stay up waiting by the door

Without these cracks where would the river flow, but straight and narrow, no words to form

Just a line, with no break in sight, to put a gap in-between the paragraphs we find, as the ink runs dry, leaving all inside resting between two blue lines

The pen has been drinking; he’s burned the roof of his mouth

He knew the liquid was too hot to consume, watched the stem roll out and spell doom, as he unhinged his jaw and yelled, “Down the hatch”

The blisters that form only make him want more as he licks them with his ballpoint tongue, puts pressure to the skin, lets the explosion begin

Watch the corrosion take hold and silence all words within, cause a loose leaf avalanche sitting in awe as white pours over 26 letters

Taking no prisoners to write home of being starved, no flags to say we surrender

Leaving nothing but a glass of whiskey on the rocks to make him feel any better

The pen has been drinking, and I’m pretty sure he’s been drunk dialing again

Writing to girls who’ve moved on and changed their address because they never wish to speak to him again

He’s playing with lit matches, seeing how long he can stay calm before the flames kiss his skin

Stabbing his switch blade knife between his five Pilot P-500’s to see which one will loose and which one will win

But the answers always one more breathe, one more stab, one more day away

And the problem is this half empty pen is not sure how many more tomorrows he can take

So he writes his songs, and he writes his poems and he pretends the day will never come

That the pen remains empty, and the songs no longer come

pearl handle

She holds her face as I hold her hand

Tears hide in palms like pearls hide in clams

I push for a pull but only find her letting go

Lost in the truth, what she’s to afraid to know

I didn’t ask for the end but she’s more then happy to give it

Pour salt in the cuts, fill cement in the divots

Anything to guaranty she no longer has to bleed

Even if it means killing me

For a moment I forget and confess I still feel love

Unfortunately it’s beyond love, now just a craving for a drug

So I release her hand and let the gun plant the seed

Vowing never to let this addiction kill anyone but me

salt water battery

I got one more inside before my head explodes so I hit reload and prey you don’t find me hiding in trees with birds making nests with broken branches caught scratching my back with dead leaves. Peel back the bark and find the rings of time and write my name around the lines before I die and an invisible god forgets my name. Put pressure to the eye pushing the scope deeper inside as the bruise spreads my sight allowing me to see the future in the smoke dancing from the gun. Give a sigh and salute to the unlucky animals who lost their heads just to end up frozen on a hunters living room wall. It makes me yawn, and think on, and write on, knowing the words in this head were not meant to be mass feed. Just a pile of lies washed down with whine editable to only me and those blind enough to still care. So take a long hard look into the poisons we cook adding self loathing to the mix just to spice up the blend. Let the world get a taste; pass the joint, pre-laced, let the weakest fall unconscious as we rape their day. Let them wake to black eyes, hard times and bruises on the inside spitting up blood which is no longer theirs to wipe away. Waiting for a monster to come, a Dracula to suck up that unwanted blood, a King Kong to carry you away so we can all see up that dress and know the panties are gone and your soul it lives on breathing fire in the mouth of the dragon who wants nothing more then to fly away. Throw their bodies in the sky and toss riders from their sides, just another case of guy on ground, trying to get up but only finding wobbly knees too weak to support the strain. Instead grass meets with caboose and the train leaves the station just in time for the coal to make a break for the light of day. Running away with the cat and the spoon and the wife who never loved you, don’t let the confusion and frustration lead you somewhere you never wanted to be. So strap your shoes with dynamite and blast into the sea, never to be seen or loved again, just to find the salt water washes all the pain away. So now you’re there, remove the shoes, but keep still in case a shark is watching you, as you let the cold water fill your lungs and you remember how to breathe…

live left, die right

It was cold, much colder then the weather man had predicted

Leaving me unsafe against this monster named winter

I didn’t hear a word of snow when I clicked open this screen

So this must be god’s dandruff falling over me

I’m leaving tracks when I walk, leaving tracks when I slip

You can follow me to hell if you’re cold enough to freeze as I lift

Take these offerings I give in a size 13

And walk where no angels sing

Follow yourself home

Color yourself wrong

Manipulate the night

Live left, die right

These feet are burning in the aftermath

If you can’t see through the window you gotta break the glass

Pull the covers on the light

Live left, die right

She was old, much older then I thought or expected

Her body screaming sex as her mind screamed respect this

She didn’t need to tell me listen as I sat transparently

Silently wishing what she gives would get lost inside of me

Following oval clues for a one way track out

Following signs on the shoulder of a diamond lane speed route

Putting pressure to the veins, just enough to make them bleed

Just killing time till the inevitable explosion challenges my clotting abilities

Follow yourself home

Color yourself wrong

Manipulate the night

Live left, die right

These feet are burning in the aftermath

If you can’t see through the window you gotta break the glass

Pull the covers on the light

Live left, die right

All right I’m sold, turn off the TV and kill the infomercials

I’m still not sure what I want but I know that I need it

Give me the cream of your crop; give me the last map I’ll need

Give me the name of a god then crucify me

I’m gonna fist, fight, fuck, give me life, watch me bleed

I’m gonna live, love, learn, give me death, watch me bleed

Why must we fight for our self-identity?

I’m gonna die trying to bury this seed in hopes someone might wake the fuck up

Follow yourself home

Color yourself wrong

Manipulate the night

Live left, die right

These feet are burning in the aftermath

If you can’t see through the window you gotta break the glass

Pull the covers on the light

Live left, die right

Tonight I hear the temperature is gonna rise far above freezing

Maybe melt a little ice and release some demons

A sleeping monster that waits to be freed

And lives in our frozen hearts counting sheep

writing to be heard

If I were to leave today would you come with me to the maze that we left so long ago behind

Could you drop all apathy and find some love in the circled corners as we turn blind

If tonight was the last night would you strip down the skin and kiss the imprint of the soul

Could you make room for empathy in the queen size bed you’ve so selfishly contorted your body to hold

If we met face to face with no shadows to hide our cuts would you bleed for me as I bled for you

Or make twine from my words and sew yourself up till only the space between us shines its way through

If I could find the key to break the locks on our hearts could you release all we find buried inside

Let the pigs play in mud cause it’s what they do, let the drunks drink until they’re sober and crying

I’m writing to be heard

As I’m screaming into pillows in hopes you’ll hear the words that I suffocate

I’m writing to no end

As I’m sleeping on a ledge in hopes you’ll save me before I fall to my death

So come listen as I write tonight             

Come here the words that can only be said when I am trapped in my head

Yeah come listen as I sing for you

Be my composer and conduct the song that tells the story of my love for you

If I lived in you and you lived in me would we be strangers in our own alligator pricked skin

Would the blood reject the heart beating deep inside vowing never to beat that dirty drum again

If my hands became too tired to write all these lines would you transcript my words with your own pen

Could you capture all the love and regret trapped in our web and still walk away without skived shins

If a bottle was half empty with nothing to show would you help me fill it up till we once again felt whole

 And if that bottle was half full of nothing but love would you enjoy the last sips with me so we could fill it up with more

If I finally found a clear direction no hesitations just an arrow I could point as I did a tiny dance in the wind

Would you walk with me till we were lost in that breeze so we could close our eyes and find our way again

I’m writing to be heard

As I’m screaming into pillows in hopes you’ll hear the words that I suffocate

I’m writing to no end

As I’m sleeping on a ledge in hopes you’ll save me before I fall to my death

So come listen as I write tonight             

Come here the words that can only be said when I am trapped in my head

Yeah come listen as I sing for you

Be my composer and conduct the song that tells the story of my love for you

The destinations close coming up ahead, so when you look at the horizon is it happiness dread

Do you still see meaning in this self inflicted mess, or is it all just a mistake full lies and regrets

The clock is speeding up now quick to the end, no more disavowing all the feelings that must be said

No the breaks are cut no more seeing red, if I gotta push for your love then I’ll push till I’m dead

So when the darkness makes it hard to see, you might come searching in the dark for a light with me

And when the words make it hard to breathe, you will tell me how you it feels and confide in me

And when I tell you that the heart in my chest is yours, you don’t bury it at sea far from your shores

And when the road turns rocky and the straight lines end, you will walk hand in hand with me through the bends

I’m writing to be heard

As I’m screaming into pillows in hopes you’ll hear the words that I suffocate

I’m writing to no end

As I’m sleeping on a ledge in hopes you’ll save me before I fall to my death

So come listen as I write tonight             

Come here the words that can only be said when I am trapped in my head

Yeah come listen as I sing for you

Be my composer and conduct the song that tells the story of my love for you

This shits a true life story from a time that’s gone, about a girl who taught me to how write love songs

As time went on questions arose, I know now all the answers were no

Times change, people change, hearts change, but I still sit here singing just how I sang

I got the same longing heart for a love that fell apart only to return in the form of art

So learn a lesson from this guppy hearted fool, swim with the sharks and drop out of school

Let your mind get dull and your skin get thick so knifes can’t penetrate and steal a rib

And take it from me, don’t buy notebook, so you can write down your feelings in hopes they’ll quit

Cause once that well full of pain has been tapped, there’s no way you’re getting it capped again